I Will Follow You Into The Dark
by hamm3rheart
Summary: Things are never easy when you fall in love at a psych ward. Room 418 is where the girl with the dull silver eyes stays; the girl who knows too much about bloodshed and seeing the life disappear from someone's eyes. Asylum!AU. (Prompts 1 - 10 of 30 Day Shipping Challenge Drabbles)
1. Paranoid Android

**A/N: Updates will happen fairly rapidly. I'll try my damndest to have two more chapters here today. First 10 prompts for the 30 day shipping challenge will be this story, the other 10 will be another and the last ten (plus two more to welcome in the holiday) will be the last two. **

**Enjoy, as this fic will get pretty..._grizzly_. Trigger warnings. Trigger warnings, everywhere. **

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><p><em>Flowers.<em>

_The entire room smelled of jasmine…sweet, fragrant, soft…_

_So much unlike the roses that were in the shop she used to live in…sleep in…_

_The shop where she met him…his eyes were so vibrant and green…the earthy color…his smile so warm and inviting…his voice…so trusting and sincere…_

_Her heart fluttered in her chest each time he came into the store…with anticipation…anxiety…_

_Today's the day she'll tell him how she feels…tell him that she fell for him even though they know next to nothing about each other…_

_Except for the fact that he always buys roses._

_Deep, vibrant red…crimson…like blood._

_The blood on her hands…the mutilated body on the other side of the room…her muffled laughs…the hammer discarded…tossed from her hands like it burned her…_

_Then her screams. Loud and echoing in the darkness of the room…_

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"_MOTHER!"_

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**_CHAPTER ONE: PARANOID ANDROID_**

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Mikasa woke up, sweat dripping, breathing heavily and with her hair in her face. Her heart was rapidly beating in her chest and her hands were shaking.

'That dream again…it's the same thing each year. _Why_?' She thought as she got up out of her cot as she heard other voices down the hall muttering to themselves about how they were gonna get out of here and one woman mused about a little boy named Oliver. She scoffed as she walked over to the barred window and looked out. The sky was full of clouds and there were birds flying around. She hummed a tune her mother sang when she was small and stepped away from the window and sat back on her bed. Tucking her knees into her chest, she closed her eyes and tried not to think about his screams and hers as they meshed together when the hammer crushed his windpipe…she tried not to think about the laughter that bubbled up in her along with the tears each time the claw pierced his very flesh; spraying his blood around the hardwood floors, across her cheeks and on her clothing…tried not to think of the helpless way her mother begged for him to stop thrusting into her – driving into her over and over and over again…tried not to think of his laughter; the deep, gravelly sound asking her mother as he strangled her with his leather-clad hands:

"_Isn't this how you like it, bitch? Huh?! Rough, hard, fast and powerful?!"_

Her hands dug into her bare legs with splashes of self-inflicted scars, small wounds from her flower shop days, and bruises from the clubs the guards would beat her with (though those weren't _only_ on her legs), and she tried so hard to shut out the voice in her head screaming at her and telling her she doesn't belong here; that she needs to be free-

"No…I'm a danger to everyone…I murdered someone…" Mikasa whispered into her flesh as she dug more so that her nail print showed and before the voices could say more, a guard – female, had to be no older than 28 at best, with a small waist and red hair with freckles – tapped on her door and when she looked up, the guard acknowledged her with a soft smile full of pity.

Not like she needed it.

"You have a guest, Ackerman. Come on out." The guard said as she opened her door and the scent of stale air came in. It was breezy and cold and she wanted to grab a blanket and bring it with her, but honestly at 22-years-old, who wanted to walk around looking like a child?

Surely, she didn't.

She quietly unfolded; her stiff bones popping with the movement of standing and walking and she wrapped her arms around herself as she stiffly walked past the guard who regarded her with that same smile. Her eyes were dull and void of anything remotely happy and her mouth was set in a grim line as she walked down the hall toward the visiting room. How exactly was she supposed to feel about having a visitor? She wasn't sorry about not being excited about someone seeing her in her predicament – in all honesty, she felt it was rather pathetic to have hope for people visiting if all they were going to bring was the pity on their faces. In all her 4 years here, she's only had one visitor, but that was 2 years prior to today and even in that, she didn't feel anything.

Well, anything other than pure, unbridled rage.

It bubbled within her and caused the voices in her head to roar; violent screeching and thrashing around in the cage formed in her mind, and she grit her teeth as they sat across from her and kept clenching and unclenching her fists as a means of attempting to control herself.

But as soon as her father spoke about how sorry she was here, she regarded him with nothing but her fist being happily acquainted with his face and his nose spraying with blood.

Which of course, triggered the voices and made her have laughing fits.

Her father, on the other hand was appalled that she hit him with such force and she simply smiled with a hollow look in her eyes and said:

"Welcome to hell, you absentee piece of shit."

She lost her visiting rights for half a year and her father never came back.

Now, however, her face is slowly morphing into one of pure curiosity for who this new visitor could be. As far as she knew, she had no more family, or friends.

Except that guy who was a regular at the flower shop she worked at forever ago, but the odds of him coming here to see her were slim as fuck, so she dismissed the thought.

As she approached the visiting room with the nearly blinding fluorescent lights, stiff cushioned seats and old board games that she played as a youth, but if she went back to play them now, she'd probably grow angry at the amount of nostalgia she would feel.

The door opened and the smell of cinnamon, pine and something medicinal filled her nose and before she could comment on the time of year it was, she saw a tall guy with short, chestnut brown hair look up and then stand to acknowledge her.

His eyes were that vibrant green…that smile was so trusting…so sincere…

It was _him._

"Hello, Ms. Ackerman," He said as he walked toward her and extended his right hand to shake. It was soft, warm and - unlike the rest of her body – it was full of life.

"My name is Eren Jaeger. I'm the psychiatrist assigned to you for this month."

The floor met her field of vision and the next thing she saw was black.


	2. Red Light

**A/N: Thanks to those that put this on their story alerts and stuff. Here's the next chapter. I'll have the next two up before tomorrow, even if it kills me.**

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><p><em>It was late..<em>._the air was brisk and_ _her bedroom window was opened with her curtains blowing in the night breeze…she was halfway to sleep so she didn't hear the person break the downstairs window in search of the cash register…she didn't hear her mother's hurried footsteps or her gasps of surprise when he grabbed her…_

_She didn't hear him call her mother a stupid cunt…_

_She didn't hear her mom run down the stairs, wielding a hammer or her scream when she was disarmed…_

_What she _did _hear was her mother calling for help…and when she got out of bed, she was surprised to see the scene unfolding in front of her and the splashes of blood all around, with the murderer's large form looming over her mother's corpse reaching out for someone – anyone – to come to her aid – _

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"Mikasa?"

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"Mikasa…Please wake up…"

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**CHAPTER TWO: RED LIGHT**

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Her eyes fluttered open as she awakened in the infirmary to not only see bright lights, white sheets, beds and curtains, but also see concerned eyes staring back at her and as she sat up – _too close, you don't want to scare him away_ – she quickly scooted back on the top of the bed and pushed her hair behind her ears; she could feel them reddening and she bit her lip in frustration.

"Hey, thought we lost you there. What happened?" Eren asked as he looked at her; concern and worry etched onto his handsome face. She didn't like that expression on his face. She wanted it to go away. Looking up at him tentatively, she shook her head and kept her lip bitten, so she wouldn't say anything stupid. A relieved smile was painted onto his lips in response.

"So, um, we probably got off on the wrong foot before. I apologize if my sudden reappearance startled you in any way. I assure you that was not my intentions. I'm simply here because I'm researching your case and I've technically known about you since you were 19, when your mom-" Mikasa lunged forward and tackled him to the bed as she heard his sharp intake of breath and saw her raven hair frame her face and her grey eyes become frantic.

"P-Please…don't…" She whispered as Eren gulped and nodded as he placed his hands on her forearms and in a completely unprofessional manner, he pulled her down and embraced her, but didn't shy away.

Instead, she blushed and laid down on top of him as she closed her eyes as her bottom lip trembled and she enjoyed the feel of his warmth; finally glad she could feel some shred of life enter her bones for the first time in _years_-

A nurse then opened the door and they quickly sat up; grabbing Eren with her and frantically straightening his clothing so it didn't look like they were doing anything…_inappropriate_ and by the time the nurse showed up, Mikasa was lying down, pretending to sleep and facing away from Eren because she knew if she faced him, he'd smile that same smile that makes her heart flutter and she didn't need her heart to race erratically and her face to redden, especially since she was supposed to be recovering from fainting.

"Ah, Mr. Jaeger. How is she this evening?" The nurse asked Eren as she shut her eyes tighter.

_Evening? Had she been out that long?_

"I'd say she's doing well. Just a tad feverish, but she should be fine in a matter of hours with the proper medication. But if it's no problem at all, could you answer a couple of questions for me?" She heard the nurse put down her clipboard and thermometer and sit in the chair on the opposite end of the bed.

"What would you like to know?" She asked with a sense of anxiety about her.

"Well, I already know the jist of the psychological trauma that Ms. Ackerman has faced with the incident of 4 years ago, but what I don't understand is _why_ she's even here in the first place if it was all self-defense-"

"I'm not allowed to answer such questions, Mr. Jaeger. It's against the rules of the Asylum to give away such…valuable information."

"Is there a reason why you won't? Are you being threatened? Is someone blackmailing you or paying you under the table-"

"I should really go, Mr. Jaeger-" She stood up to leave and he gently gripped her arm and gestured for her to sit back down. Biting her lip, she leaned in to him and whispered:

"_This isn't a good place to talk. There are eyes and ears everywhere. I'll tell you all you need to know about Ms. Ackerman later tonight around 1 AM. For now, just reassure her that things are fine by being there for her now since you couldn't be in the past."_

Eren's eyes widened and she smiled knowingly and before she could say more an intercom sounded throughout the building.

"Nurse Tulley, you're needed in the West Wing."

The nurse nodded and Eren stood there as she left and looked over at Mikasa's (now) sleeping form. Her breath was coming out in gasps, her eyelids were fluttering and she was mumbling something. He desperately wished he knew just what she was dreaming about, why she was so troubled and most importantly; why she was even here, when it was self-defense-

"Mother…no…I'll help you…please…please…just let me help you…PLEASE!" She said with a scream as she lurched forward and Eren snapped out of his watching her, just in time to place his hands gently on her shoulders, but she recoiled as if burned.

"NO! DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!" She exclaimed as she then landed a punch to his mouth and at the sight of blood, her eyes glossed over and the voices in her head sang their praises. Eren fell off of the bed and onto the floor and covered his mouth as she quickly covered her ears and whimpered as she began whispering stop repeatedly while lying with her knees in her chest.

'Clearly side-effects of PTSD. She's been through a lot, but I had no idea just how much until now…she needs help…and only I can help her since everyone else has pretty much given up on her.' He thought determinedly as he got up and gently sat on the bed and embraced her again, soothing her worries, gently bringing her out of her fears and slowly reassuring her that it's alright.

He wasn't sure if he was doing any good, but his own worries were confirmed when her whispering stopped and she instead opted to clutching his blazer for support. Within seconds, he felt her body shuddering and her tears on his shirt.


	3. Silent Spring

**A/N: I'm writing chapter 4 as we speak. Bear with me. Again thanks to all that reviewed, liked, and favorited.**

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><p><em>She hated that she was frozen with fear…hated that the more she put her mind to helping her mother, the more her feet stayed in the spot she stood…hated that her mother tried to reassure her during the day that this man isn't doing her any harm, even though he squeezed her too hard and referred to her as a 'easy lay' under his breath…she hated how accepting she was when it came to her father's absence…she hated how oblivious she was when it came to her father's interactions with men – or just that guy in particular…<em>

_She hated how weak she was when her mother was savagely raped, beaten and left for dead…how helpless her voice sounded when she sobbed and cried over her corpse…_

_She hated how much blood there was…_

_She hated how she was alone…_

_But the thing she hated most…was how he came back 10 years later…and tried to do the same thing to her._

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"I'm so sorry, Eren…I-I was…I thought I was still dreaming." She said with a sincerely apologetic look on her face as she sat there on the bed and stared at her lap. Eren simply smirked; looking boyish and attractive with his busted lip.

"It's okay, Mikasa."

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"_I know you're still haunted by your past."_

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**CHAPTER THREE: SILENT SPRING**

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'Haunted isn't the word I would use,' she thought as she stared up at the steel grey ceiling in her room. Each time she blinked, she saw more flashes of green eyes looking vibrant, happy and full of so many emotions she casted away forever ago for the sake of holding on to the memories of her mother. _Her mother_…

She closed her eyes and saw her younger self crawling to the front door of the shop; afraid to stand to her full height, in case the bad man lingered around, and when she got to her mother's body, there were strangulation bruises around her neck – two large thumbprints atop her windpipe – her dress, tattered, torn and bloodied from the roughness of his actions, and her mother's face; eyes wide and void of life, with her mouth bruised and bloodied. Her hand was outstretched in Mikasa's direction, but she stayed hidden behind the door and didn't come out, until she was certain the man had left.

That night was cold. Snow came in.

She sobbed over her mother's body; over her own incompetency to act – to do _something, __**anything**_ – and after the police were called nearly an hour later, she was bounced from foster home to foster home until she was old enough to take care of herself. Each year she grew; she brought her resentment, bitterness and hatred with her. Each year, she vowed to avenge her mother; to grow strong enough to fight him off. Each year, she harbored the self-hatred for her lack of defending her mother, as well as her hatred for her father divorcing them a full week before her murder.

Each year…the voices grew stronger…

Until one day in the spring…they screamed.

Grisha Jaeger, was a really well-known psychologist who sought to help the people of Traverse City, Michigan with any type of mental disorder they have, no matter how severe. He helped families with financial issues, newlyweds that couldn't handle their first arguments and even couples that have been married for years but have lost some of that spark.

The Ackerman family was one of those families.

Mr. Ackerman was considering leaving his wife, simply because after their daughter was born, he no longer had a reason to stay, since she was making more money and things were going good for her. He felt unnecessary.

Dr. Jaeger tried his best to convince him that he, in fact, was necessary. If not for his wife's benefit, then for his daughter.

"She just looks…so much happier with her mother. I don't wanna hinder their bond, so I'll remove myself."

And that was the last he'd heard before the divorce.

Eren sometimes heard bits and pieces of his father's conversation with his mother over dinner, but nothing too serious happened; until a week later when Mikasa's mother was murdered.

He was devastated for her and grieved with her in spirit. So much so, that he asked his father to continually purchase red roses for her grave after the funeral – which Mikasa couldn't attend because she was in a foster home that didn't think it would be good for her to see that since she's been through enough at her age.

"_Much more than any other 9-year-old should ever have to go through."_

After a silent vow to help her by any means he can, he dedicated his life to his schoolings to be the same doctor as his father so when he saw her again he'd be able to assist her in getting better – into recovery.

So, ten years later, when he walks into the flower shop that's been closed down since Mikasa's mother died, he sees her and requests a dozen roses for her mother's gravesite.

It's been that way for months. Spring, Summer, Fall…

Then Winter.

That fateful December…when he went back to the shop and saw crime scene tape and a woman with long raven hair being escorted out of the shop with blood on her hands, a smile on her lips, and a hollow look in her eyes…he had no idea she was _this _far gone. However, when he saw the large body bag follow her, he figured she was done.

Four years later and a PhD in Psychology later, would say she isn't, and now they're back to the present. A week after her punching him and he's filling out paperwork to say that he'd be her primary mental health doctor and the nurse he agreed to meet with later that night, is gone. Where she went, he doesn't know.

"Um, just how much more paperwork is needed, sir?" He asked the chairman as he stared him down behind his glasses.

"Just a few more signatures and then you're free to take Ms. Ackerman back to your place of residency for your set of procedures-"

"Wait a minute, I'm not taking her to my home, I'm simply taking her out of here so she could experience the nicer side of life. You know, without trauma and the mental scarring of her mother's death in front of her and her being incarcerated – even though I can't understand _why_ she's even here-"

"Mr. Jaeger, I understand you're a busy man and believe in doctor/patient confidentiality, yes? We simply cannot discuss it any further than this and that's final. Now, I thank you on behalf of Rose Mental Facility for taking such good caution with Ms. Ackerman. As you have already witnessed, she has a history of violence, and has bestowed that violence onto you. For you to continue to want to deal with her, proves you have the patience of a saint and that in itself is rather commendable. Her paperwork is up to date with her medical records and her room is number 418. I'll let a guard know you're taking her on your way out." The Chairman said as he stood and withdrew his right hand for Eren to shake and as he had, he chuckled humorlessly.

"Take good care of her."

Mikasa stared at the wall to her right. She noticed the bleak, gray color and sighed as it reminded her of herself. She was bleak ; void of color and life and nothing - not even Eren with his vibrant green eyes and boyish charm – can bring her back to the tranquil and carefree life she once had all those years ago.

A soft tapping on her window by a guard snapped her out of her daydreaming and as she sat up, swiveled her legs from her bed and stood up, she saw the guard talking to someone. Walking closer to the window, she saw those gorgeous eyes and blushed as she backed up toward a corner in her room.

"Come on, Ackerman. He's taking you out of here." The guard said as she opened her door and Mikasa stiffly walked back out. She kept her head down so that her hair framed her face so that he wouldn't see her blushing badly.

"Wh-Where are we going?" She asked softly as he walked beside her and entwined his pinky finger with hers. She stiffened, gasped and blushed more, but didn't shy away.

"We're going to see a movie. I know you haven't seen one in a long while." He said as he looked at her with a tender expression, all the while thinking which movie they could go see that doesn't have blood so that she doesn't get triggered to act violently.


	4. The Clock

**A/N: Lengthy chapter is lengthy. Only 6 more chapters left with this story, guys. Thanks for the support so far.**

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><p><em>She had no idea anyone could be so nice…so gentle with her…all she'd known her entire life was pain…her mother lived a life full of paranoia and discomfort…<em>

_Her father left her – abandoned her…_

_A bad man took away her mother and tried to kill her too…_

_Surely this is all a dream…right? There's no way this can all be real._

_It's all a fabrication…an illusion painted by her mind._

_She's hoping in reality, she's back at Rose Mental Facility and Eren doesn't even exist. Eren is just a guy she met all those years ago, whom she didn't have the courage to speak to and therefore her mind is conjuring up some silliness to hold her over until she dies._

_She's hoping, one of the guards have beaten her so severely that she's knocked out cold and she's hallucinating…_

_Then maybe…things wouldn't seem so far fetched…_

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"So…why exactly am I going to the movies with you? You shouldn't want to be seen with me…after all…I'm criminally insane…a murderer." She said as she wrung her hands in her lap as Eren drove them out of the isolated facility. He knew she was going to beat herself up about the incident that happened years ago, but hearing her actually do it was heartbreaking. She's a good person who unfortunately faced some serious trauma in her younger days. His job wasn't to make her forget about what happened to her, but to make the pain of remembering so often, a little less severe.

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"You're a good person, Mikasa. You're full of light and life and wonderful things. You have the potential to be someone great. You just haven't realized it yet. Deep down, you're still that same 19-year-old in the flower shop who sold me flowers and had gorgeous hair." He said as he saw her turn to him in her peripheral vision and he smiled good-naturedly.

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"Deep down…you're still _you_."

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**CHAPTER FOUR: THE CLOCK**

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They turned onto a street with a movie theater and parked but not before Mikasa looked around and recognized pretty much everything.

"There's Mr. Jenkins' hardware store…and Ms. Folly's market…and the bakery…"

"I knew you'd recognize things here. After all this is your old hometown.." Eren said as he saw her look on excitedly at the fact that everything from four years ago is still here.

Nothing's changed.

But does that mean…

They turned down Eves street and directly in the middle was where Misoi's flower shop resided.

Her eyes widened and Eren locked the car before Mikasa had the urge to bolt – which she frantically pulled on the doorknob so she could get let out. Eren shook his head and her eyes filled with tears.

"Let me out! Please! _Please!_ I need to see her!" She said as she continued to yank on the doorknob, until she yanked up the lock and sprinted out into the abandoned shop.

He sighed as he parked and when he saw her fall to her knees, sob and scream for her mother, he followed her inside. Before she could turn around to talk to him, Eren felt a sharp, heavy blow to the back of his head and hearing his name screamed.

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><p>He woke up in what looked to be an abandoned warehouse to the sounds of voices speaking about <em>"how hot Mikasa is now that she's older<em>" and how they're gonna see to it that "_she gets plowed into next week_" but when they brought up what Eren's fate was, they simply said:

"Oh him? Tch. He's gonna watch as we fuck her, then we're gonna kill him in front of her. That'll avenge our boss and teach her about her place." A guy said as he neared Eren, who was tied down to a chair and pretending to be out cold. His left eye felt like it was swollen shut, his breathing was labored and he felt like his sides were on fire. His wrists burned from the restraints and if he strained his ears to hear, he heard Mikasa's muffled cries. It sounded like her mouth was gagged and her arms were bound by the way she was struggling. He felt so sorry for her; sorry that he brought her here to the flower shop – he honestly thought that it wouldn't make her breakdown as much, and that seeing the flowers and things would make her happy, but upon seeing her crack and fold when brought back, made him realize that this wasn't the best idea in hindsight – sorry that they were both in this predicament, sorry that his hands were bound so she nor he could do anything about it, and mostly sorry that he had to put her further in trauma.

He felt his hair being yanked so that he'd be forced to look up and when his eye opened and aside from being partially blinded by bright light; he saw a huge ugly bald guy with a septum piercing too big for his face, small beady eyes and a tattoo of a triangle beneath his right eye. Gritting his teeth, he glared at the guy with all the force he could muster.

He recognized this guy.

The main reason why he had to take up his dad's malpractice, was because he got into a terrible car accident on the way home from work one day and died in the hospital. His mother did all she could to keep the present house they have from going into the hands of the government, but after 6 months, she could no longer keep it and they were forced to move into an apartment with the taxes she received.

The man behind the terrible accident? He was staring at him.

The news reports said his name was Thomas Claire and he has a history of violence and it was speculated that he had history behind Mikasa's mother's murder as well as ties to her father.

Apparently, he told Dr. Jaeger one thing, but his history with violence said another thing entirely.

"What do you want…with me?" Eren asked as his eye stared at the man with hatred and Thomas simply smiled cheekily.

"It's simple, you little fuck. We want our payments that we never got back from Mr. Ackerman. All those visits to that shrink of his never proved anything other than taking money that he owed us and lining his fucking pockets. So…we fixed it so he'd never take money from us again." Eren grit his teeth.

"And what about Mrs. Ackerman?! What about his family?!" Thomas laughed.

"Her?! Our muscle was only charged to scare her by…roughing her up a bit…admittedly, he did get carried away, but eh, it's out of our hands now." At this point, Eren was roaring and Mikasa looked at the man with hatred, malice and the voices in her head whispering _kill him…do it…do it now…kill him…make him bleed…make him suffer…_ in her head like a prayer.

She was sorry she was born in this life…sorry she was made a target for ruthless people like them…sorry things turned out the way they had, but now wasn't the time to wallow in your sorrows.

Now was the time to act.

Thomas let go of Eren's head and let him fall forward as he sauntered over to Mikasa who now morphed her face into a blank expression so she wouldn't give anything away.

She laid still as they unbound her from her restraints…didn't move an inch when they removed the gag from her mouth…and when Thomas loomed over her with a knife, opened her pants, yanked up her shirt so her bare breasts showed and unzipped his pants, she looked at him with an apathetic face. This was nothing new for her…unfortunately.

"Don't worry girl. I'll go slow…for the first five minutes." He said as his friends – about 3 other guys lurking in the shadows – laughed aloud and Eren was nearly certain, they all had guns.

He kneeled to her lying position and before he could prop her legs up and open them, a swift leg kicked him square in the genitals and he screamed out as he fell forward and she made quick work of dealing with the other guys. Somewhere on the ground, she found a small, rusted knife and she used that to slit one guy's through that was shooting at her and instead she used his arm to shoot the other guy who also shot at her, but missed.

The last guy she was on her way to, but he grabbed Eren and held him with a chokehold as he put the gun to Eren's head.

"D-Don't move! I'll kill him!" He said as Mikasa paused her movements.

"Mikasa…throw the knife…kill him! Do it!"

"Don't move a fucking inch, bitch!" He yelled as Eren began to squirm in his restraints.

Closing her eyes she threw the knife and before the gun could even go off, she heard the knife pierce his chest and he fell to the ground with a dull thud.

Having no regards for her own safety, she worked completely on auto-pilot; giving the voices in her head free reign over her body until every single one of them were dead.

"There's one more left. The first guy." She said in a hollow tone as she quickly whirled around and blocked a punch that would've been to her side, and with a confident smirk, she punched his face and several teeth were knocked out. As he fell down to his side, she walked over to him and kicked him with enough force to crack several ribs.

Blood flew from his mouth, and the voices started to cackle.

"This," She said as she landed another kick. "Is for my father!"

"This," She kicked him again. "Is for all those years in that god-awful asylum!"

"This," Another. "Is for all those years in confinement, misery, all those shitty memories of blood, torture and being afraid of myself! NO! FUCKING! MORE!"

Eren watched in horror as she stomped the man's face into his skull with her shoes and kicked him a final time.

He knew she was angry at her circumstances, but this…this was grizzly.

"M-Mikasa…?" He warily called as she began cackling and followed that was the screaming and sobbing. She was having a severe mental breakdown and there was nothing he could do about it other than watch and have his heart break little by little.

"I did that for you, mother…all for you…I hope you're resting a little easier now…"

She whispered as she soon began to calm down and after a half an hour, she walked over and yanked the knife from the guy she threw it in and cut Eren's restraints. He moved his arms around and got the feeling back in his legs and after that, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he got up and wandered around for a way out.

As it turned out, they were just in the large basement of the flower shop.

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><p>Walking out of the shop, they noted that his car was slightly damaged but still able to drive and before getting in the car, she took off her shoes and tossed them in a nearby dumpster.<p>

"I…don't want you to think of me any differently. I'm still me after all…just a little fucked up in the head." She said with a slight smile.

He noted she looked rather gorgeous, even with blood on her face.

"I don't think of you any differently. You did what you had to in order to survive and for that I owe you my life. Still…some date huh?" He said with a grin and a sparkle in his open eye, that Mikasa laughed at.


	5. Now Is Gold

**A/N: I'm late, but look! A mass post. Another chapter after this.**

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><p><em>Two days have passed and she's out of the Facility and in Eren's home….in his bathtub to be more precise…<em>

_She's soaking in a tub with bubbles, oils, and other sweet smelling things._

_Yet all she can smell is blood._

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"Since I trust nothing and am pretty sure everything I know is a lie, I'm going to have you live here with me until we can figure out something more stable for you as far as living conditions, you get to stay here. I figure it's not fair for both of us to be living in this world confused on our own, so we'll might as well be confused about our pasts together." He said as they pulled up to his house and she stared her lap. She then chanced it and looked up at him and for the first time her eyes were bright and full of sincere thanks.

"No one's ever been this nice to me before…thank you, Eren." She said as she smiled softly.

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"The pleasure is all mine, Mikasa."

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**CHAPTER FIVE: NOW IS GOLD**

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She had no qualms about being here. After all, she was pretty much in love with him for years and was pretty sure he _some _affection, but not much and that was fine with her.

She's had guys not return her affection before in grade school, and each time she pretty much paid it no mind.

But something was telling her that this time - if she were to put herself out there _this time _ - something wonderful is gonna happen.

She was sure of it.

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><p>Eren sat in his office chair nursing a glass of whiskey and an ice pack over his swollen eye. He needed somewhere to be alone to process the information that was passed to him. Literally almost everything he knew was a lie…his father's accidental death <em>wasn't<em> an accident at all…it was a murder.

Mr. Ackerman was in deep shit…he tried his damndest to protect his family, but ended up putting them in worse conditions by _leaving_; his wife was murdered, his daughter is fighting some serious psychological trauma and, hell, he may be facing some of his own.

It made him question everything.

Did his mother know anything about this? If so, why did she hide it?

He was on his way down a dark path with his thoughts when he heard his door open and Mikasa walked in with nothing on but a towel and her hair was wet.

"Um, I'm sorry to bother you, but…I couldn't find the hair drier and I don't have any other clothes, but the clothes I've already had on and those are kinda covered in blood…" She said as she chuckled dryly as Eren's throat went dry.

Were her breasts always this round?

Was her waist so slender?

Did her eyes always sparkle that way?

"Uh, s-sure, um…lemme just…grab something." He said as he hopped up and walked past her, all the while trying (and failing) to notice the rising and falling of her rounded chest beneath the towel-

"Eren?" She said softly as she noticed him freeze in his tracks. Maybe she was indecent coming to him in nothing but a towel? She had no idea, but the indication that she's done a good thing was not lost on her when he suddenly backed her into a wall.

"Look, I know now's not the best time for this…and I'm _technically_ your doctor, but before that, I'm a guy and you're a girl and we're both human. I'm sure you've had needs-" She quickly bit her bottom lip, instantly knowing the nature of the conversation. Sure, she'd read about this kind of stuff before, but she never experienced it herself due to…well.

"It's alright. I've pretty much been harboring feelings towards you for years…other than my mother's smile…your smile and the light in your eyes were the only things keeping me from giving in to the voices in my head. For that," She leaned forward and stood on the balls of her feet. Her heart was pounding in her ribcage and her face was hot, but she didn't care.

"I thank you." She said as she leaned forward and captured his lips in a soft kiss that Eren ended up intensifying. He then picked her up by her waist, and carried her to the bed, all the while without breaking the kiss. She felt his errection straining against his thigh and moved to grind against it to see what reaction he'd give, and in response, he broke the kiss, moaned and proceeded to kiss her neck. She mewled and moved her hands down to undo his jeans while he kept kissing down her body as the towel she was wrapped in fell from her frame. Wasting no time, he cupped her breasts and ran his tongue over both of her nipples. Arching her back, she cried out as she ran a hand through his hair. Her heart thudding in her chest; she felt her face grew hotter and hotter with each swipe of his talented tongue.

But something was still clawing at the back of her mind.

Maybe, it's the fact that she really _doesn't _know him, but she identified with his pain and hurt that they've been through…maybe because she empathizes with his lack of knowledge on the future and what life has in store for them…or maybe because she fell in love with his heart and his overall perseverance to stay by her side with everything that's gone on in the past 48 hours.

Either way, it was enough to make her pause and reflect.

"E-Eren…wait…" She said in a breathless tone.

"Yeah?"

"How far are we taking this?" She asked, suddenly shy despite the aggressive actions she was taking prior to this conversation. Eren paused his actions as well, releasing his hold on her supple breasts and sitting up and making it comfortable for her to sit up as well.

"Well, to be clear, I don't want to push you any farther than you're willing to go. If you want this, then I'll comply. If not, we can just lay here and I'll help you find some clothes. My arousal isn't the determining factor in my life, so it's fine." He said with a smile and Mikasa nodded.

It would've been fine if the circumstances were different, but because they barely know each other and it would've been purely in the heat of the moment, it wouldn't have been meaningful at all.

At least, that's what she's telling herself.

"Maybe, we shouldn't…at least, not now when we're both in recovery and barely know each other. Maybe later?" She said as she looked up at him past her lashes and he smiled and nodded as he got up and went to grab her a shirt and some of his old boxers. He fixed his clothes and goes over to his dresser to get the things and make moves fix her up in a guest bedroom.

"Later." He whispers to her as he hands her the clothes and goes to complete the task.


	6. Safe

**A/N: I know I'm late, but gonna do a chapter spam. I'll be back up to date by later tomorrow.**

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><p><em>Everything is wonderful and carefree.<em>

_The only evidence of otherwise are the bruises left under clothing._

_And the torn, tattered, fragments of emotions that are left without repair…_

_But slowly…gradually…eventually…_

_Someone came along with some glue and offered to pick up the pieces and put them back together._

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'I just hope you don't cut yourself.' She thought as she pulled his oversized green shirt over her nude form and pulled his old clean boxers up on her hips.

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**CHAPTER SIX: SAFE**

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She wanted to explore everything, but it wasn't her place to, so she stayed in the guest room and focused on her hair and how long it's gotten. She could pull it back into a ponytail like guys wear, or pull it up into a sloppy bun held together with a pencil or something.

She huffed as she also thought about cutting it short, but with the way Eren had gingerly ran his hands though her hair, she thought not. Her face enflamed.

Even now, she could hear him whisper "_Later_" and her heart thudded for when that _later_ would come.

Maybe when they're both older and have known each other more? Maybe when she's more mentally stable?

Maybe…maybe…

For now, she'll curl in his clothes and breathe in the scent of his fabric softener.

The scent of citrus; lemon, orange, lime…the scents of summer…

Not at all like the scents of now.

The scent of wet snow, cinnamon, pine, and the reminder of death.

Her mother's blood…was staining the pure white of the snow that came in…

She shuddered as her thoughts took her to where she didn't want and her breathing became ragged.

"Think of Eren…think of Eren…" She whispered as she closed her eyes and thought of his kiss not too long ago and her breath hitched.

Think of how his eyes looked when you kissed him…when you were beneath him…

That was enough to calm her rapid heart and ragged breathing.

"I'm okay…I'm okay…" She whispered again and again until she really started to believe it herself.

All that mattered was the here and now.

She was safe in Eren's home; free from any hurt, harm or danger and she had a lot of the privilages that she's never had before.

She was free.


	7. Spring Cleaning

**A/N: Chapter spam. **

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><p>Months<em> later, and they're officially living together. The Chairman of the Facility hasn't called Eren (or at least what she's sure of) and things are fine. They've been taking things slow, and she's really starting to adjust to the life of someone…normal.<em>

_Someone free._

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They're eating dinner in comfortable silence one evening. His eyes are perfectly healthy; no bruises, no swelling…all green and vibrant and full of adoration for her. She blushed as she pushed her boiled baby potatoes around on her plate and enjoyed the feel of her new surroundings. She'd grown accustomed to the way he did certain routines in the morning and the way he did things at night. She'd grown used to him and soon the days turned to weeks.

The weather changed. It grew colder.

Soon, it'll be Christmas.

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**CHAPTER S EVEN: SPRING CLEANING**

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She was to wait for him to return from work. His co-workers never really asked about that case with the Ackerman girl and to be honest, it was none of their business whether or not he ended up taking the case on or not. All that mattered was that she was out of that wretched Facility and where she would be safe and sound.

She was supposed to wait for him to be back from work so they could talk more and figure out pieces of her past.

Instead she took the liberty of wandering around his house.

So far, her favorite room was the bathroom; with its claw foot tub and large windows that look into the backyard. It was beautiful in the winter with the fresh, untainted snow in the yard, but now that Spring is here, all the flowers that were starting to bud were now on their way to blooming.

In a figurative way, she was blooming too.

Before long, she had gotten to the top of the stairs and had deemed the house completely familiar to her. Every nook and cranny was now memorized in her brain and she grew bored with that idea. She was on her way back downstairs to the lobby when she passed a door she'd never seen before on her way up. Where did it go? She'd already been to the basement. All it held was old exercise equipment, some boxes from old clients had, and some old papers. Nothing eventful.

She decided to open it and see where it led to.

Walking up the stairs, she felt the air grow more and more stale. Apprehension clawed at her insides, causing her to question whether or not she was really out of the Facility, or was she knocked out all those months ago and in the hospital?

She went up more stairs and saw that it was an attic and in the middle of said attic, there was a trunk. It had no lock and there was a single slip of paper on top that read:

_Mother's Wedding Things. Will dry clean later._

Curiosity getting the better of her, she opened the trunk and inside she found a vintage wedding gown with lacy sleeves and a plunging neckline. It reached down to the floor and she felt inclined to try it on. She hurriedly stripped out of her clothing and put on the dress, just as she heard the front door slam and Eren call out for her. She buttoned the buttons, and threw caution to the wind at the fact that it fit her like a glove and that her curves her fully on display. She withdrew the veil and pinned it to her hair that now grew past her chin and was starting to reach her shoulders. She heard Eren's footsteps slowly approaching the attic and felt her heart flutter in her chest.

Would he think it's inappropriate for her to try to wear his mother's dress?

He got to the top of the stairs and stopped in his tracks.

"Mi…Mikasa…Y-You're…"

"I-I'm sorry…did I offend you?" She asked as she peered up at him through her lashes and he got to the top of the stairs. Her frame was haloed by the afternoon sunlight and the more he looked at her, the more his heart swelled.

"No, no, not at all. You look…you look…"

"Terrible?" She asked with a chuckle and he moved closer to her and his eyes started to water. The last image he's seen of his mother was in this very dress.

"Beautiful." He said with a shaky voice as he stood before her, cupped her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly as tears rolled down his cheeks for the first time in years.


	8. Gift

**A/N: Last few chapters of this.**

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><p><em>She was starting to really fall for him, and it was beginning to scare her.<em>

_He was really starting to develop emotions for her and it wasn't really interfering with his work, but rather his initial objective for helping her. _

_He just wanted her to be able to live her life normally and not have to worry about looking over her shoulder or hating herself in the morning when she woke up every morning._

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She wants to give in to him, but circumstances aren't right yet.

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**CHAPTER EIGHT: GIFT **

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"I want to buy you something nice." He mutters one evening as they're sitting at dinner. The lights were dim and he requested the person chef he had to cook her favorites: steamed green beans with a citrus butter sauce, grilled chicken with a rosemary, blood orange and white wine reduction and some roasted red potatoes with garlic and extra virgin olive oil. She looked up from her plate and gasped at the sincerity of his words. Sure, the holidays were vastly approaching and she could see people bringing gifts in for their families from their cars, but she didn't really want anything in return.

Just the comfort of a home and someone to love was all she needed.

Even if said love wasn't reciprocated.

"I appreciate the gesture, Eren. But honestly, a gift isn't necessary. You've given me something already that I'd never thought I'd have. You gave me a home. That's more than enough." She said with a sweet and soft tone without conveying too many of her other feelings. She also wanted to say that he made her believe that love can exist again…she wanted to say he chased away her nightmares and replaced them with visions of his green eyes smiling and looking at her with lust…she wanted to say that her love for him was much, much bigger than her old fears that used to haunt her…

But she found herself wringing her dress under the table instead.

He cleared his throat and continued to eat his meal, all the while vowing to get her something anyway. A girl as amazing as Mikasa deserved something equally amazing.

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><p>They went to just about every shop they could think of. He noticed quickly that jewelry wasn't her forte, so he strayed away from that. She liked dark clothes since they contrasted her silver eyes, so he bought them.<p>

She didn't mind electronics, but having some of her own was too much of a hassle, so he refrained from purchasing anything of that sort.

As a bit of a jest, he walked her to the toy store and the look of pure joy that resonated on her face was ridiculously priceless. Her cheeks beamed, her eyes were alight, and her feet moved as fast as they could to the back of the store where the stuffed animals were. He quickly followed as many parents and children looked on in both confusion and bewilderment.

She stopped when she got to the section of the store with this stuffed wolf with emerald eyes. Clutching it and hugging it for dear life, she walked back over to him and nodded.

"On second thought, I wouldn't mind you getting this for me." She said as she walked past him on the way to the cash register. Eren simply chuckled.

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><p>"So, what exactly is the history behind your wolf companion?" Eren asked as they drove out of the mall's parking lot.<p>

"I had a stuffed wolf as a child growing up, but it didn't have any eyes. Someone must've plucked them out before they were given to me though hand-me-downs; but I always knew the eyes of that wolf were beautiful and powerful. And now, seeing them," She said as she turned to him and he quickly looked at her then looked away, "I see that they are."

Eren blushed as he drove them back home.


	9. Bond Friend Bond

**A/N: I honestly feel bad that this was updated late, but rapid chapters are good right? Enjoy.**

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><p><em>She had no idea what she was worried about.<em>

_Being in love with someone is an amazing feeling, but she was concerned that he hasn't said anything as of yet._

_She doesn't know how he feels as far as whether or not his feelings reciprocated with hers, but she was hoping he did._

_Christmas is approaching and she'd better act fast. _

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Or else, he'd slip right beneath her fingers.

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**CHAPTER NINE: BOND. FRIEND BOND. **

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Putting up Christmas décor was the highlight of her week. Seeing the otherwise ordinary house light up with an air of sweetness and tranquility was actually quite nice. Seeing Eren's eyes light up with mirth each time she sang along with the radio, made her blush and run to the other room to put up more decorations.

It got to the point where she as she was singing and slightly moving her body, she felt his presence and stopped, even though he told her to keep it up and that her cheerfulness was brightening up the house.

But that was before the doorbell rang. Eren smiled in anticipation as he raced down the stairs to answer it. When he got to the door, he saw it was Armin and he high-fived his friend and let him into the house, while Mikasa scurried back up the stairs like a scared kid. She had no idea why she was nervous about meeting this guy; she just knew that new people didn't sit well with her and that she needed to get away before she started having flashbacks of her first few weeks at the Facility.

"Mikasa? Could you come down please? I wanna introduce you to someone." Her heart thudded as heat spread throughout her body. There goes her nerves.

She fluffed her hair before bounding down the stairs in her ugly red Christmas sweater and shorts that she borrowed from Eren a while back. A slight flush crossed her cheeks as she made her way to the living room and saw Eren talking to a blonde guy with glasses of wine in their hands.

She assumed they were only inviting her because Eren must've told him about her.

"Armin, this is Mikasa. Mikasa, this is Armin; my best friend. He used to work in the same department I did, before he left to go to a different practice. We spend the holidays together when we can, but since I figured this year was special since you're here, I figured we'd do something different. Eren then grabbed a second glasses that sat on the table,poured Mikasa a glass of wine and handed it to her.

"Easy drinks for right now because dinner has to be made, but later is where we will separate man from pussy." He said with a laugh and Mikasa internally chocked on her sip of wine.

"Heh. You're on Eren."

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><p>Hours later after many bowls soup and hearty chili, they were sitting by the fire drinking glass after glass of scotch and playing truth or dare like teenagers. It was Eren's turn to be asked truth or dare by Armin and surprisingly, after a few drinks, Mikasa considered Armin to be an easy person to be around.<p>

"Truth or Dare, Eren?"

"Dare." Armin smirked devilishly.

"I dare you to kiss Mikasa like you mean it. Like your life depended on it."

Except now.

Why of all things did he have to dare him to do-

"Fine." Eren said as he put down his glass. Wait. _What_-

He scooted over to her and placed his hand gently on her face and leaned in. His eyes lowered as the green in them went from jade to emerald in a matter of mere seconds and it wasn't all because of the damn alcohol.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she felt his lips touch hers and the second it happened, he all but pushed her to the floor and from there it was a tangle of limbs, clashing of lips, teeth, noses and breathy pants. They were wearing too many clothes and she felt his tongue _everywhere_.

"_Ahh_…E-Eren-"

"Shh…we can finish this later. Remember?" He said with a smirk as he sat up and she pouted as Armin looked at them with a knowing glance.

"I knew there was more to you two."


	10. Admittance

**A/N: Working on the next story now.**

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><p><em>Since the kiss, she knew she wanted more.<em>

_More attention, more affection…more intimacy…_

_More of him, period._

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And she ended up getting just that.

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**CHAPTER TEN: ****ADMITTANCE**

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"Mikasa, you ready to go see the lights?" Eren asked as he waited at the bottom of the staircase with his leather jacket on and a scarf covering the lower half of his face. She soon trotted down the stairs with the same outerwear on, but instead of a normal hat on, she had on reindeer antlers. Eren looked at her with a slight blush as she smiled up at him and she simply strode past him and out the door.

All of a sudden he realized that staying inside was a better idea.

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><p>Standing in front of the tree that illuminated the central part of the city, they stood side by side and held hands. She hummed "O Christmas Tree" the same time a saxophone was playing it and he gripped her hand tighter. Her blush grew more.<p>

"I figured now would be a good time to say this, since I'm not sure whether or not I'd be able to gather the nerve to say this again." Eren said suddenly as her grip on his hand faltered and she froze her humming to show she was giving him her full undivided attention.

"I've been in love with you for a good few years. The whole reason why I took your case was because I wanted to know more about your trauma and help you through it, but never in my wildest dreams did I actually think that I'd fall even more in love with you. Yes, it's tragic that I'd lost so many others that's I'd held dearly and deeply in my heart, but I'm glad you weren't someone I lost." Eren said as he turned to face her and tears swam in her eyes.

"You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that. I love you too. I've always loved you." She said shakily as they kissed in front of the tree then held hands as they ran home to make love in front of the fireplace to celebrate the season as well as their newfound love.


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